From spending time with friends who are plus size and in different forums and groups with many lovely and beautiful people who happen to be plus size, I've been trying to gather my thoughts and say something important to these friends who I value so dearly.
I know that so many of you struggle daily with conflicts internal and external. Whether its from rude people or from lack of confidence or self-esteem, it can seem overwhelming. And it doesn't help that society constantly bombards us with images and messages specifically designed to make us feel lousy about ourselves, just so we will buy their latest product. However, I've come to a very important conclusion about ourselves and our desires.
If you can't come to yourself with love and acceptance, you will never acheive any of your goals, no matter what they are. Whether they are professional, interpersonal or personal goals, if you look in the mirror and detest what you see, you will never succeed at anything.
And that's because HATRED IS THE WORST MOTIVATOR.
We've become so conditioned by society and the diet/health INDUSTRY (yes, it is a BUSINESS), that we need to feel badly about ourselves to motivate us to want to change. But I believe that by starting with hating our bodies and ourselves, we are sabotaging ourselves before we even begin. We are tripping ourselves before the race even starts.
I know its hard to wrap our heads around it at first, but we need to come to ourselves with love and acceptance. Then and ONLY THEN, will we make changes about how we treat ourselves. If we make a concentrated and strong effort to love ourselves, than we will start to think differently about ourselves. We will change the negative self-talk that pollutes our thoughts and start with more self-affirming thought patterns. Once we start doing that, then we will start treating ourselves differenty. We'll start thinking about our health, our lives, our relationships in a different, more positive way.
We might want to start getting out more, doing some excercise, maybe change our eating habits. We'll start to see the toxic relationships and people in our lives and start shedding those things and cultivate healthy relationships with like-minded positive people. But all this will ONLY come if start by loving ourselves. Every beautiful inch. Every dry patch, every belly roll, every pimple, every wrinkle. It starts with love.
Will it be easy? Nope. Certainly not at first, not easy at all. But it will, eventually.
Will the changes be overnight? Nope, they will start small and slowly, over a great deal of time.
Will there be immediate weight loss, will you get that bikini body by summer, your six pack abs in two weeks? Nope, certainly not. But that's not the point. It's never been the point.
When you love yourself, you will just naturally treat yourself better. Your views will change, your habits will change, your friends will most certainly change and more often than not, they will so slowly you probably won't even know its happening. But one of these days, you will look back and and see an old picture of yourself, and it will be like you're looking at yourself though a dull and dim light. And more recent pics will seem more radiant and bright.
But it will only come from love. Hating yourself will NEVER transform your life. It will only come from the love you have in your heart for yourself. Then you will change, not only for the better, but it will be permanent.
Thank you and know that I love all of you and all that you are in my life so much. :)